In a move that stunned diplomats, economists, and at least one bartender, President Trump announced Sunday that he has personally negotiated an arrangement to “boost world oil supply” by easing sanctions on Venezuela—after a productive round of phone calls and a mutually agreed-upon exchange of recipe tips.

“We made a deal. Great people, tremendous oil. I told them: you give us oil, we give you our best guacamole secret,” the President said, holding up a napkin that may or may not have previously contained a cheeseburger receipt.

Analysts were quick to note the unexpected efficiency of the agreement. “Usually these things require weeks of negotiation and a dozen obscure cables,” said one confused diplomat. “Here, it took a tweet and a follow-back. We’re still figuring out how to file the paperwork.”

The White House press secretary emphasized that the policy change was “very carefully considered,” and that any long-term geopolitical consequences would be handled “later, maybe in a follow-up tweet.” When asked whether the arrangement included any climate safeguards, the administration responded that it had installed solar-powered glitter cannons at select refineries.

Local citizens reacted with the usual combination of relief and skepticism. “Great, the gas pump will be cheaper—until we realize our neighborhood got traded for a lifetime supply of novelty sombreros,” said an area resident, who asked to remain anonymous because he feared being traded for less fashionable headwear.

International leaders were reportedly perplexed but willing to accept the new reality. One aide whispered, “We don’t know if this is diplomacy, performance art, or both. Either way, it will trend.”

Late-night hosts have announced a joint tour to explain the finer points of 21st-century statecraft to the public. Tickets include an optional politically themed guacamole-making class and a speculative Q&A about the future of bilateral economic stabilization—plus a commemorative napkin.

“At least someone finally found a use for my old business card,” the President quipped. “America first. Avocado second.”