Wednesday, September 23, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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At the U.N., the President says he has ended eight wars, up from seven on Monday, and the number is, on the record, "averaging about a war a month," which is, in the specific, the number that went up ◆ The crypto "digital nation" gave up on the cloud and signed a lease on an actual riverbank in Uruguay, and the plan is, in the specific, a post-AI civilization with a sewer permit ◆ India built the world's biggest options market, found out the customers were losing, and the regulator's fix, in the specific, was to triple the size of the minimum bet ◆ The Diplodocus is not, as has been assumed for a century, a North American dinosaur, and the first one found outside North America is, in the specific, in Spain, which was never on the list ◆ Caleb Williams is "week to week," and the Bears are, on the record, not ruling him out, which is, in the specific, a schedule with a name ◆ The House is leaving town early, again, and it is, in the specific, not even the end of September, and the impeachment vote is, on the record, "after the midterms" ◆ Crumbl is nine, the birthday week is on, and the deal is, in the specific, six cookies for the price of four, on Thursday only, and the two extras, in the specific, are a gift ◆ Williams-Sonoma is up 23% in a sluggish housing market, and the CEO says the word is "storytelling," which is, in the specific, the word with a stock price attached to it ◆ NASA's Roman telescope has fuel for 22 years, and the agency has, on the record, used the word "exquisite" about its orbital dynamics team, which is, in the specific, the word ◆ A man in Soho sells one bread, the bread is rye, the bread is $60, and the bread, on the record, is, in the specific, the bread ◆ Qatar's 13-year-old, 6-foot-11 volleyball phenom is standing over the entire senior squad in Japan, and the adults in the box have, on the record, stopped arguing with the height

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Reader Poll

The Diplodocus was assumed, for a century, to be a North American dinosaur. What, in the specific, is the actual problem with the map?

"The map had one country on it" — because the country, in the specific, was the United States, and the United States, in the specific, was the whole map 47%
"The sign said MORRISON" — because the diorama, in the specific, had a little sign, and the sign, in the specific, pointed at four states, and the four states, in the specific, were the map 33%
"Nobody had checked Spain" — because Spain, in the specific, is a country, and the country, in the specific, was, on the record, never on the list 20%

Poll results reflect the views of 25 readers, a number we chose because it is, in the specific, the number of tail vertebrae in the fossil, and the vertebrae, in the specific, do not require a source. A significant portion of the respondents submitted the single word "Teruel," which we are treating, for the purposes of this poll, as a vote for the country, since the country, in the specific, is where the vertebrae were, in the specific, found.

"I bought four. I ate six. I have the two. I do not know where I will put the two. I have been a customer for nine years, and I have never had a problem with a number, and I will not start with six, because six is, in the specific, the number you can hold."

— a Crumbl regular, who is, in the specific, a regular, and who is, in the specific, four cookies deep, and who is, in the specific, on the day the two are a gift