Monday, September 28, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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The Senate's college-sports bill advances on votes from both sides of the same locker room, and the locker room, in the specific, is the word the senators use for the word "qualified" ◆ Germany's foreign minister tells Russia's to "do everything possible" about the grain, and the everything, in the specific, is the word the delegation uses for the word "a corridor" ◆ Wall Street is praising this year's AI IPOs for their "big dreams and tiny revenue," and the revenue, in the specific, is the word the underwriter uses for the word "the thesis" ◆ To read 2,000-year-old burned scrolls, a team of scientists burned their own, and the burning, in the specific, is the word the lab uses for the word "the only way to be certain" ◆ South Africans gathered at a rugby stadium to grill for 30 straight hours, and the 30 hours, in the specific, is the word the emcee uses for the word "whenever" ◆ The Broncos scored 30 points in the second half after a first half best described as "a thing to be seen once," and the once, in the specific, is the word the coach uses for the word "uncomfortable" ◆ A Senate candidate is drawing a salary from his own campaign, and the salary, in the specific, is the word the candidate uses for the word "the American dream" ◆ Microsoft has folded four AI products into one app and the stock has soared, and the app, in the specific, is the word the company uses for the word "one Copilot, one" ◆ UCLA has grown a working piece of human lung in a dish, and the lung, in the specific, is the word the scientist uses for the word "it's doing the thing" ◆ Mortgage rates have crossed 7 percent for the first time in years, and the 7 percent, in the specific, is the word the lender uses for the word "a very well-informed ceiling" ◆ Scientists found two new sea spiders in the Salish Sea, one of which grooms itself, and the grooming, in the specific, is the word the spider uses for the word "a very good routine"

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Reader Poll

The world's biggest braai has been, per the organizers, "still cooking" since 11 a.m. What, in the specific, is the word for what is now happening at the north end zone?

"A second event" — because the emcee, on the record, said the braai starts at 11, and the 11, in the specific, is the word the schedule uses for the word "whenever" 44%
"A national holiday with a scoreboard" — because the verdict, in the specific, is expected Friday, and the Friday, in the specific, is the word the organizers use for the word "soon" 38%
"A clipboard situation" — because the adjudicator, on the record, has a clipboard, and the clipboard, in the specific, is the word the rules use for the word "five minutes" 18%

Poll results reflect the views of 30 readers, a number we chose because it is, in the specific, the length of the event in hours, and the event, in the specific, has not yet produced a number of its own.

"We are not writing this from a boardroom. We are writing this from the locker room. That's a significant difference. And the difference, in the specific, is the word the locker room uses for the word 'we were there, and the rules, in the specific, were us.'"

— a former-athlete senator, on the Senate floor, before being asked who the locker room was, at what point, and in which year