Thursday, October 1, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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America hasn't built a new military base in 40 years, the governors are bidding, and the bid, in the specific, is the word a state uses for the word "we waited our turn politely" ◆ The UN general debate closes with a call to turn words into action, and the action, in the specific, is the word an institution uses for the word "we have run out of other things to say" ◆ Treasury auto-enrolls 60 million children in Trump Accounts, and the toddler, in the specific, is the word a brokerage uses for the word "disciplined long-term holder" ◆ Crew-13 reaches the space station in 7 hours 50 minutes, and the stopwatch, in the specific, is the word a launch official uses for the word "we are no longer being polite about this" ◆ The White Sox sweep the Astros for their first series win since 2005, and 2005, in the specific, is the word a city uses for the word "a relative who did something impressive once" ◆ Passengers storm a flydubai cockpit after a 14,000-foot plunge and land the plane safely, and the aisle, in the specific, is the word a cabin uses for the word "the only professionals left" ◆ One lot of pepperoncini is recalled for a pest contaminant, and the sink, in the specific, is the word a household uses for the word "the only food-safety agency we trust" ◆ The 30-year Treasury yield tops 5.6 percent, its highest since June 2002, and the 2002, in the specific, is the word the bond market uses for the word "we remember, and we have the numbers" ◆ Consumer confidence falls to 81.9, the lowest since 2014, and the 81.9, in the specific, is the word the survey uses for the word "we asked 5,000 households and they answered honestly" ◆ Curiosity marks 5,000 Martian days with a hand-colored postcard, blue for morning and yellow for afternoon, and the postcard, in the specific, is the word a rover uses for the word "I am still here" ◆

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Reader Poll

Forty years without a new base, and now every state can bid for one. Which state deserves the first "gold standard" installation in four decades?

"The state with the widest interstate exit ramp" — because logistics is destiny, and destiny, in the specific, is the word a highway uses for the word "we were built for this" 44%
"The state that brought the best physical model" — because at least three delegations brought working miniature cranes, and a crane, in the specific, is the word a model uses for the word "we intend to actually build things" 33%
"The state that waited the longest without complaining" — because forty years of patience is a credential no acreage can manufacture, and patience, in the specific, is the word a bidder uses for the word "we never once threw anything" 23%

Poll results reflect the views of 12 readers, a number we chose because it is, in the specific, the number of states that submitted bids inside envelopes inside envelopes, and the envelope, in the specific, is the word a governor uses for the word "thorough."

"Nobody handed anybody a certificate. A group of people in a cabin, in thirty seconds, decided the plane was going to land, and the plane landed. I'd like the certificate to be retroactive. I read the safety placard on every flight anyway. I read it even when I'm the only one on the plane."

— Dale Prochaska, retired maintenance supervisor and Definitely Real passenger, Ohio, who, in the specific, is the word a family uses for the word "the person we call first when something goes wrong in the house"