Friday, October 2, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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The weather grounds the presidential helicopter and the President drives 85 miles anyway, and the motorcade, in the specific, is the word a highway uses for the word "we are not being precious about this" ◆ British counterterrorism police arrest a man for preparation alone, and Section 5, in the specific, is the word a police force uses for the word "we arrived before the thing happened" ◆ An analyst upgrades a dollar store because the economy is shaky, and the shaky, in the specific, is the word an analyst uses for the word "the thesis" ◆ Scientists find a stick insect with a lidded egg and admit the egg was right and the label was wrong for fifty years, and the lid, in the specific, is the word a journal article uses for the word "we were beaten by an egg" ◆ The Astros tell their own fans they need energy and not boos, and the boo, in the specific, is the word a fan uses for the word "the only loud word I have" ◆ Seventy-six people across sixteen states eat a single sprout, and the garnish, in the specific, is the word a deli uses for the word "the green on the plate" ◆ The 30-year Treasury yield tops 5.6 percent, its highest since June 2002, and the 2002, in the specific, is the word the bond market uses for the word "we remember, and we have the numbers" ◆ Consumer confidence falls to 81.9, the lowest since 2014, and the 81.9, in the specific, is the word the survey uses for the word "we asked 5,000 households and they answered honestly" ◆ Curiosity marks 5,000 Martian days with a hand-colored postcard, blue for morning and yellow for afternoon, and the postcard, in the specific, is the word a rover uses for the word "I am still here" ◆ One lot of pepperoncini is recalled for a pest contaminant, and the sink, in the specific, is the word a household uses for the word "the only food-safety agency we trust" ◆

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Reader Poll

The President drove 85 miles because the weather grounded the helicopter. When the weather beats you, what is the correct response?

"Get in the car and do the distance" — because a motorcade is not a delay, it is the most serious way to travel on a public road, and a car, in the specific, is the word a highway uses for the word "we are not being precious about this" 41%
"Stand on the tarmac and file a complaint about the cloud" — because the complaint is itself a form of attendance, and a cloud, in the specific, is the word a weather service uses for the word "we told you" 34%
"Go home and drive to the rally next week" — because a rally postponed is a rally that kept its appointment with the calendar, and rescheduling, in the specific, is the word a calendar uses for the word "the rally can wait but the highway cannot" 25%

Poll results reflect the views of 12 readers, a number we chose because it is, in the specific, the number of readers who have ever sat in a delayed motorcade in the rain and admitted, quietly, that the motorcade was the most serious part of the day.

"We want their support. We need energy. We don't need boos. I understand the fans have one loud word, and I am not asking them to stop using it. I am asking them to use it at the right time. I do not know what the right time is either. I am playing in the game."

— Ricky Topmeyer, Astros outfielder and Definitely Real confused man, Houston, who, in the specific, is the word a clubhouse uses for the word "the person who asked the fans a question the fans cannot answer"