Saturday, September 19, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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Trump says the Greenland deal gives the U.S. "permanent control over security, and all other needs" — at no cost to Washington, which is the phrase doing the heavy lifting ◆ The President has banned CNN, MS NOW, and Politico from the White House, "effective immediately," which is to say effective in the only way the ban was going to be, from the inside ◆ Apple, OpenAI, Nvidia, Amazon, and JPMorgan CEOs are all seated at Thursday's Xi state dinner, which the market has already priced in as the deal it always wanted ◆ An IIT researcher has closed the 25-year-old blind spot in the fastest known way to estimate distance in a huge network, which is to say the algorithm is now good at the trips everyone actually takes ◆ A Denver nurse looked at a Jamaican barbecue menu and saw a leather belt crawling with beetles; the food was fine, the picture had crawled ◆ Buffalo opened a $2.2 billion stadium to a 41-31 win and a sellout that had, as its first order of business, a quarterback scoring five times in one game ◆ Australia has turned its backpacker visa extensions into a lottery of 5,000 spots, down from 31,000, and the 25-year-old waitresses are, in the words of one, "stressing out" ◆ The Institute of Peace has asked a judge to keep the President's name out of the stone of its own headquarters; the chisel is, on the record, a method ◆ A new frog in the Amazon is tellable apart from its brothers only by its call, and the call is, for the purposes of the species, the frog ◆ An 8-pound burrito in Wichita Falls has defeated every person who has tried it and is, per the restaurant, still undefeated; the record stands at 13:26

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Reader Poll

The President has "banned" CNN, MS NOW, and Politico from the White House, "effective immediately." The three outlets, by any operational measure, are not currently inside the White House. What, then, is the most honest description of the ban?

"A ban is a ban" — because the President said the word, and the word, in the specific, is the ban, and the ban is the thing that was, on the record, banned 52%
"A confirmation" — because the outlets were already not in the building, and the ban is, in the specific, the building agreeing with the outside 31%
"A headline" — because the ban cost nothing, accomplished nothing, and landed, nonetheless, as the story, which is the whole ballgame 17%

Poll results reflect the views of 1,914 readers, a number we chose because it is the number of times the word "banned" appeared in the President's own post before the post was, on the record, banned. A significant portion of the respondents submitted the single word "effective," which we are treating, for the purposes of this poll, as a vote for the ban, since the ban is, on the record, effective.

"I have arranged the seating for two presidents, three summits, and one dinner that was, on the record, a sector rotation. The table was not long enough. The table has never been long enough. I do not judge the table. I set it."

— A White House events coordinator who has, on the record, set the table for more than one state dinner and asked that the table not be named, because the table, in the specific, is the one with the flags