Administration asks the Supreme Court to let the Post Office "verify" mail ballots, round three; the Post Office, per the Post Office, "delivers what is handed to us"
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Germany's far-right AfD landslide-wins Saxony-Anhalt, then falls three seats short of ruling alone; the arithmetic, per the arithmetic, is "a door that is open but not yet fully closed"
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Walmart to deliver your Dunkin' donuts, a move rivals describe as "a lot of donuts"; the driver, per the driver, "is already in your subdivision"
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New light-powered robot can jump forever, as long as you keep shining a light on it; the robot, per the robot, "has no idea it is a robot"
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Five American women in the US Open last 16 at once, a number the country has been waiting for; the fans, per the fans, are "not going to cry over the two we didn't get"
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One man ate only Sweetgreen for 25 days, so the company is now recruiting 30 more to do 30; the colon, per the colon, "is a statement"
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A Polish man looking for car parts finds a 1,800-year-old shield full of a dead warrior's ashes; the scrapyard, per the scrapyard, is "continuing to sell car parts"
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London's first self-driving taxis roll out — 15 of them, each with a human in the driver's seat who is, per the human, "not driving"
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The AI boom is so big it has run out of construction workers; the electricians, per the electricians, are "wiring data centers instead"
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Bats found to carry a secret immune system no other mammal has; the bats, per the bats, have been "annoyingly fine" this whole time