The country is 250 this year, and the word for that is, on the record, a word with six syllables, which is the word the language gives when the number is, in the specific, a number that has, in the specific, become a celebration, and the celebration, in the specific, is, on the record, the word.

The word is “semiquincentennial,” and it is, in the language of the dictionary, a real word, a word with a definition in the book, which is the way the dictionary describes a word that has, in the specific, a definition, and that the definition, in the specific, is, on the record, the number 250.

The controversy, such as it is, is about the syllables. One side, the purists, says the word is too long to be a real word, which is the position a person takes when the person is, in the specific, a person who has, in the specific, counted. The other side, the celebrants, says the word is perfect for a number that is, in the specific, perfect, which is the position a person takes when the person is, in the specific, a person who has, in the specific, not counted.

"A word with six syllables is a word that has, in the specific, finished being a word and started being a sentence. The sentence is, on the record, the number." That line is from a lexicographer who has been editing a dictionary for a career and who described the word as "in the book," which is the phrase the industry uses for a word that has, in the specific, a definition, and that the definition, in the specific, is, on the record, the country. The purists have a number for the problem. The number, in the specific, is six, and the six, in the specific, is the number of syllables in the word, and the word, in the specific, is, on the record, the six. The celebrants have a number for the solution. The number, in the specific, is 250, and the 250, in the specific, is the number of years in the country, and the country, in the specific, is, on the record, the 250. For the language, which has, in the specific, given the country a word for the country's 250th year, the controversy restores a status the purists describe as a problem and that the celebrants describe as a celebration, which is why, when the word appeared in the celebrations, the question on everyone's mind was not whether the word was real but whether the word would, in the specific, fit in the sentence. A purist, asked about the word, said it was "not a word you say out loud," which is the way a purist describes a word that is, in the specific, a word, and the word, in the specific, is, on the record, the saying.

THE WORD, IN THE DICTIONARY'S OWN WORDS

  • The word: Semiquincentennial. The word, in the specific, is the word for the number, and the number, in the specific, is, on the record, the word.
  • The syllables: Six. The number, in the specific, is the problem the purists count, and the counting, in the specific, is the problem.
  • The definition: A 250th anniversary. The definition, in the specific, is the number the word means, and the number, in the specific, is, on the record, the year.
  • The status: In the book. The phrase, in the specific, is the way the dictionary describes a word that is, in the specific, a word.
The country, for its part, appears to be on the record. The 250, in the specific, is being celebrated, the word, in the specific, is being used, and the syllables, in the specific, are, on the record, being counted, which is the three-part answer the language gives when the language is, in the specific, also a number. At press time, the word was, in the specific, in the book, the 250 was, in the specific, on the banner, and the six was, in the specific, in the argument, which is the word the language uses for a number that, on the record, is, in the specific, the country, and the country, in the specific, is, on the record, the word.