LONDON — King Charles III has issued a letter, on behalf of himself, confirming that Prince Harry and his wife Meghan are, following their return to the United Kingdom, non-working members of the royal family. The letter, which arrived by the traditional hand and not by the modern hand, was described by a palace source as “clarifying,” which in royal English is the word for “we already said this, but you kept asking.”

The confirmation is not, as some have suggested, a punishment. It is a status. It is, in fact, a very good status, and one that a great many people would kill for, which is not to say anyone would. Non-working members of the family are, by definition, free to be wherever they want, do whatever they want, and be photographed doing it, all of which is, as a public-relations team put it, “the dream.”

"The letter, which arrived by the traditional hand and not by the modern hand, was described as 'clarifying,' which in royal English is the word for 'we already said this, but you kept asking.'"

The Duke and Duchess, who have been in the country for the better part of a season, have since been spotted at a series of engagements that the palace is careful to call “personal.” A personal engagement, in the royal taxonomy, is an engagement at which no one is working, which makes it the only kind of engagement that truly matters. The couple’s schedule, which no one has seen, is understood to be “full,” a word that in this context means “busy being free.”

A senior source close to the matter — and by “close” we mean “in the same country” — said the family was “thrilled” to have the Sussexes back, and that their presence in the country, even a non-working one, was “wonderful for everyone,” which is the sort of thing that sounds like a formality but is, in the royal family, a legally binding sentiment.

ROYAL EMPLOYMENT STATISTICS: AT A GLANCE

  • Working members: Those with a job, a title, and a very full diary.
  • Non-working members: Those with a title, a very full life, and a very empty diary.
  • The difference: The non-working members get to be in both places at once.
  • Annual salary: Not disclosed, which is the royal way of saying "ask the butler."

Skeptics have pointed out that “non-working” is, technically, a job title, and that the couple has a brand, a book, and a streaming deal, all of which require a certain amount of work. The palace, for its part, maintains that a person can be employed by the world and unemployable by the family, a distinction that has been described by one constitutional lawyer as “the most British sentence ever written,” and by another as “I’m going to need a second drink.”

The King’s office confirmed that no further letters are planned, which is the royal equivalent of a period at the end of a sentence, and that the Sussexes would “continue to enjoy their time in the country,” which is the phrase the palace uses when it means “they are here and we are very glad and also they are not doing anything and that is the point.”

At press time, a royal insider revealed that the letter had been printed on the good paper, which is the paper the family uses for anything important, and that the wax seal had been the gold one, which is, as everyone knows, the only seal that counts.